Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Back To The Future? We'll All Be 'Rooned!'

Once again, Australian trade unions are under siege from the forces of an ever-desperate conservatism seeking to scare the population into believing that any number of reds are hiding under any amount beds in order to steal the peoples’ money for their own nefarious ends.

Conservative Prime Minister ‘Honest’ John Howard, of the Liberal Party of Australia, claims to represent a new age of industrial relations when he is really plunging us back to standards comparable with those of pre-World War One; The Australian Labor Party’s Kevin ‘That Nice Mr’ Rudd, on the other hand, says that workers must be represented fairly by their respective union bodies in order for a mature, progressive society to move forward in a serious and meaningful fashion, and if this means tearing up Australian Workplace Agreements, so be it. Howard says we must go forward into the past – Rudd says we must go back to the future.

The unelection campaign is hotting up down here in a sunburnt country as Honest John ramps up the rhetoric against That Nice Mr. Rudd. Industrial Relations (IR) has become the latest blood-soaked battlefield as Labor promise to wind back some of the more onerous provisions of a satirically titled ‘WorkPlace Relations Legislation Amendment (More Jobs! Better Pay)’ that no one voted for. The notion that his cunning plan to roll the rights of Australian workers back to those in place at Federation might be usurped has the honest one fair sputtering on his ’45 Lafitte in indignation, but luckily the plucky PM has the business lobby to hold his hand and make the appropriate noises.

Leading the charge is such altruistic and civic-minded concerns as Rio Tinto, BHP/Biliton and that tireless advocate of workers’ rights, The Australian Mines and Metals Association (AMMA). They are shrieking to the highest heavens that the ‘WorkChoices’ legislation and Australian Workplace Agreements (AWAs) are the only things propping up Australia’s mining boom and without them the entire world mineral market will collapse, bringing a pestilence and blight upon the land and nothing to do with India and China becoming the planet’s one-stop services and manufacturing shops.

AWAs are individual contracts that employees must voluntarily sign with their employers. The theory – and Elroy just loves conservative political theory – is that employees and employers will come together mano-a-mano, on that good ol’ level playing field so beloved of free marketeers without those big, bad boogey-man union nasty-pasties getting their two cents worth, strike a deal that makes both parties want to plant a sloppy WorkChoice smooch on one another and pledge everlasting individual agreement adoration.

Both parties are then supposed to trip merrily back though the sweet-smelling meadows of industrial contract law to their workstations various and harvest the blossoms and blooms of a deregulated labour market, bosses rueful about the concessions that wily Afghan refugee screwed out of him and said refugee safe in the knowledge that she has fully protected her rights despite the fact that she speaks only Farsi.

As Honest John will waste absolutely no time in telling you, the greatest impediment to peace, goodwill and an IR environment so harmonious as to render doves redundant are those utter, utter beasts the unions. Unions are, as we all know, the scourge of all mankind, venal and corrupt axis’s of evil that prey on the pay of those dispensing honest sweat and fair dinkum toil to feather their own nests and drink their members’ blood in orgies of satanic delirium. Obviously, workers’ interests are best protected by those bodies that have a vested interest in them, like the Australian Chamber of Commerce.

The problem for unions is that they have doomed themselves to irrelevance by dint of their success. 100-odd years ago, unions were an absolute necessity for workers as they fought tooth and nail for rights that are now taken for granted, and therein lies the rub. People now do not realise that the rights they enjoy are because of the unions, and so resent paying their dues, but the price of liberty is eternal vigilance I tells ya!

Honest John Howard’s idea of progress is to take us back to time which is now before living memory which is being painted as being nice, different, unusual. Some workers’ have been duped into thinking that the capitalist classes just live to make their employees’ life worthwhile, ignoring that without union intervention they too could be working for one to five dollars a day like their third-world comrades.

Some people have made an analogy between unions and business, that unions are ‘labour corporations’ selling man-hours on a level playing field with employers, but the owners of t’ means o’ production, lad, have always had and will always have the upper hand, unless workers stay strong. The Liberal Party whine that it should all be ‘Fair And Balanced™’ but it can’t be. Capital has the power. The only bulwark the worker has against this is the union. Is that fair? Probably not. But capitalism isn’t fair, the system isn’t fair, and as capital has no morality per se, business will only fight fair when they are forced to.

Business has been hollering ‘We’ll all be ‘rooned’ since slavery was abolished (another feat not due to the largesse of corporate interests), and it just wants to be happy and safe in the knowledge that they can hire and fire at will, and drive down wages to wherever makes the most profits for their poor widdle put-upon shareholders, the people who are, after all, the backbone of society and the only ones to which the corporation must be responsible. Investors must have certainty! The workforce can just blunder on from day to week wondering where the next mortgage payment is coming from, but INVESTORS MUST HAVE CERTAINTY!!!

However, free market ideologues that quote Friedman are as much Utopian nutters as any commie they may care to mention. If workers are not represented by a single entity then they will be picked off and exploited. Divide and rule. Elroy has a friend (Yes! Apparently it’s true!) whose employer was bought out recently, and as result the workers there were ‘moved’ into the new corporate structure, which meant that their contracts were torn up and AWAs were put in place. They were all called in to ‘negotiate’ individually, in a process known in the real world as ‘sign or resign’. Not ‘re-sign; resign.’

They were told not to discuss the content of their contracts with anyone. Elroy’s pal stated that she could not sign the AWA due to an unconscionable clause and, in spite of corporate directives, discussed it far and wide. All the workers in her department refused to sign and the company backed down. Fortunately they were skilled workers and so had something to bargain with. God help them if they had been Sudanese cleaners.

Unions are a necessary evil; without them we’d all be buggered because business cannot be trusted to be reasonable and they have proved this time and time again. If they did behave properly the unions would not be, or would ever have been, required. But the nature of capitalism requires that enterprises do all to they can to maximise profits. That means increasing productivity and reducing input costs by any method available, and labour costs are part of that equation. Why do companies relocate overseas? To reduce labour costs.

Monetarist policy demands that a certain percentage of the labour force, between 5%-15%, is unemployed at any one time. Of course, the victims of this system are blamed for their predicament, but it must be that way to keep labour at each other’s throats and a free kick for capital. Some bright spark from the ANZ admitted this the other day when he said that jobs had been scarce over the past thirty years, blowing apart the lie that the work was out there but the unemployed just couldn’t be bothered looking for it.

So having conned us then as now, how’s it looking now that a labour shortage maybe on the horizon and labour might have some bargaining power? The goalposts are moved in order to help business some more. Conservatives love to scream from the rooftops that the country is being held hostage to the unions’ demands, but is it?

Yes. It is being held to ransom by unions, by staunch, militant unions whose tentacles reach far up into the echelons of power. The government are in the pockets of these unions; politicians argue their case for them and the government uncritically do all in their power to mollify these institutions. Their wishes are the government’s commands. There can be no doubt that they legislate on the unions’ behalf; the Australian Chamber of Commerce and similar organizations are in the box seat of power and they don’t feel much like moving.

They are the correct analogy for workers’ unions. As business colludes, so does labour, and business does collude; anyone that thinks that they are constantly fretting about ‘competition’ is also waiting for the Tooth Fairy to show up.

If Labor is in the pocket of the ACTU, then Elroy would rather that than a government that was in the pocket of the ACC. In the end, trade unions represent the people. Business associations represent vested interests. One is fundamentally orientated toward enriching the great unwashed, and one is orientated toward enriching the corporate elite. Elroy knows which he would prefer. What about youse?

If the Liberal Party is somehow mysteriously returned to power at the end of the year then it will be big business usual, but once those AWAs really start to bite the punters will flock back the unions and the 20th Century IR battles will have to be rerun. Ho hum. Go foward to the past to get back to the future? We'd rather not, but if we have to – we will.

113 comments:

Anonymous said...

I note that your excellent poem uses an ABAB scheme until the very end when you rhyme ramblings with Elroy.
Did you get tired?
But then what else could you use?
Is bellboy near enough for jazz?
Probably not.
Otherwise good work.
Cheers
A pendant

Elroy said...

Wow! Well spotted Mr/Mrs/Ms Pendant!

I don't know what came over me! All I can say in my defence is I was a little short on time, but I know that is really no excuse. Considered me firmly chastised.

I have used 'Bellboy' in one of my previous genius introductions, so I must respectfully decline yyour kind suggestion, but if you care to peruse the current poem you wil see that the ever-tricky ABAB scheme is fully consistent and intact.

Thank you for your concerns and attention, and I promise it will never happen again.

Cheers

Elroy

Anonymous said...

A poetic improvement, yes.
I am merely shocked that you once used bellboy to rhyme with Elroy.
Elboy would do it - or belroy.
Sadly they are not words.
But belboy - come on, Elroy!
No it is not near enough for jazz or any other form of jungle music,
cheers
Mr. Pendant

Anonymous said...

Golly, Mr Pedant, how tough you are!

Upon relflection I fully admit that, yes, Bellboy and Elroy are rhyministically speaking, incompatible.

What can I say? My rhymometer was out that day too, as was also, may I repsectfully suggest, yours last Thursday.

The quality control might be not be what it could, but at least we are aware of the problem and are trying to meet our obligations and meet all relevant international benchmarks in this regard. Rest assured that those responsible have since been severely reprimaned/sent to git'mo/promoted/awarded the Order of Australia/made head of World Bank/published a book, and that it won't happen again until, ooh, I should give it until at least Friday week.

Thank you again for your interest and concern.

Cheers

Elroy

Anonymous said...

pendant again.
I am distrubred that whenever you are critisised you say roughly, OK you're right but I'm not as bad as you.
Since your entire blog is taken up with critisising governments and political parties and the like, one would think you could take a little teeny weeny critisism yourself with more grace.
I suspect a hint of sarcasm in your tirade about quality control.
Otherwise, keep up the good work.
Anon E mouse (Mr.)

elroy said...

'Yeah, but...'

I agree that it is not a good look, however (Here he goes again) I could well say the same of you.

I may critisize 'governments and political parties and the like' and who knows, maybe I might be as bad or worse given the chance, but as I am not likely to be I will go on happily lobbing my small and utterly ineffectual grenades over the parapet, as is my democratic right.

However, if I am critisising someone's grammar skills I make absolutely sure that my house is in full order, and I do not think it improper to point out your failings in this reagrd as they go directly to your credibility on the matter in hand.

Furthermore, I am mystified as to where you get the idea that I do not accept your criticisms with grace; I admit them and I thank you for your concern, but if your actions somehow put you above criticism then I'm sorry, but I was not informed. Heat/kitchen kettle/copper comparisons
come to mind.

To lack grace would read more like 'Go fuck yourself!', yet you might notice there has been none of this. True, that doesn't completely excuse me for not being sufficiently deferential, but life is often cruel and unkind. I trust you will, in time, recover.

Anyway, I'm not trying to say 'I'm not as bad as you'; my message is more like 'You are nearly as bad as me.' Viva la difference!

In closing, I would like say that I regret your comments are still limited to addressing my minor grammatical transgressions and not the actual substance of the arcticles; oh well, maybe one day I shall post a peice so flawless in its construction
that you, dear Mr Mouse, will be forced to speak to the content and not the form.

P.S. Was I being sarcastic? These days abbrogation of responsibility can result in either a trip to the Big House or a knighthood depending on one's networking skills and standing within the dominant paradigm, so maybe I was merely telling
the truth. Or was that too sarcastic? Or maybe I was merely...

Anonymous said...

If I agreed with you any more it could start to hurt. Well done and may the shadow of the imperfect rhyme never grow shorter! - GSJ

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I didn’t mean to upset you. Ignoring your blogging when you have obviously taken so much time and effort to write all those thousands of words.
I do not have your light touch and your turn of phrase but I must tell you that I have been on both sides of the managerial desk.
Way back, I was a member of a union. It was in the UK and I can only tell you that sometimes the word thug was hardly strong enough to describe some of those officials.
.As a union member I was embarrassed by strike after strike.
I could not resign my membership as I was involved in a closed shop. I certainly did not want to be spat upon or have my family threatened.
In the end I had to leave that area of industry just to survive.
Lucky I did. I got a job as a salesman and eventually worked my way up to management level. It was there that I found out about people. Generally I like people. But once they get into a work situation they are not pleasant to deal with. They want to do as little as possible and get as much money as possible for it. Upsetting management is something they like to do as a hobby. The more restrictions you put upon an employer to sack people who cannot, or will not, toe the line, the worse they become.
This does not apply to all people but far too many for my liking.
Are you a manager, Elroy? From your tone in your articles I doubt it.
So you may be going on and on and on without much experience to back up your theories. And that is what they are - theories. They have very little basis in fact.
But you entertain me so I will go on reading your blog until such time as you get bored with writing it.
I hope my spelling has been up to your exacting standards.
Until next time -
Anon E. Mouse

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