And The Winner Is...

Ron! Yes, Ron has absolutely swept the board! No one came close to Ron because, well, no one else entered, so first-prize goes to Revolt Today’s proprietor…Ron!

So, let’s run it down. In reverse order we have Number 10. Ron reckoned that the country which bans only torture that is the ‘equivalent in intensity to the pain accompanying serious physical injury, such as organ failure, impairment of bodily function, or even death’ is not founder member of terror elite organization the Axis of Evil, Iran, or axis wannabes, Syria, or even CIA sub-contractor Egypt. Nope, the only nation that explicitly allows this, says Ron, is the good ol’ US of A!

Grrr! Stoopid hate-America-firster! Trouble is…he’s right! Hmmm. Way to bring Western Values® to the world, USA!

Now, number nine. Ron says that George W. Bush said, "We have a responsibility to secure our borders. We take this responsibility seriously" about the Mexican border fence. Now, Elroy is pretty sure that Ehud Olmert feels much the same way about his construction, as did Zhu Yuánzhang and Sabine Bergmann-Pohl,
but Ron is right. GWB it was. Two to Ron.

Number 8 goes like this. ‘Tear down this wall!’ bellowed a world leader, but which one? Felipe Calderón sure feels a tad insulted by George’s little number, Mahmoud Abbas is ropable over Israel building its perimeter wall outside its borders on Palestinian land, Genghis Khan was undoubtedly peeved when his Mongol hordes bounced off the Great Wall of China and Ronnie took exception to the rather crude mechanism East Germany knocked up in order to protect the Glorious revolution.

Now, the odd one out here is Ronnie, as he is the only one not facing a wall built to keep him out, and why would Ronnie be griping about a wall that was, frankly, none of his business? Because that’s the specialty of American foreign policy advisors! Yup, the only guy with no real cause to go ‘round telling other leaders what to do was the guy going ‘round telling other leaders what to do.

How the current Republican cabal square off building a bloody great fence to keep out Mexicans with the memory of demi-god Saint Ray-gun and his hatred of all things wallular, but there y’all go! Ronnie said and Ron picked it! Three-nought to Ron!

To seven. ‘It is cruel and callous to do this to someone in this position and to play games like this is a disgrace’ wailed someone or other.
Was Malaki being magnanimous in defending Saddam when he was lynched by the USA? Or was he standing up for the Iraqis tortured in Abu Grahib? Was it Australian Prime Minister John Howard going in to bat for David Hicks and his holiday at Git’mo? Maybe it was the USA protecting the civil rights of them Freedom™ lovin’ a-rabs as they hung some poor hicks out to dry over the Abu Grahib debacle?

Or was it the Aussies defending Saddam? After all, Australia has long since done away with the death penalty. Or the yanks defending Hicks and burning some more defenseless grunts? Surely Abu Grahib put them off torture and coercion? Or was it the Brits doing the right thing? After all, Tony Blair is a Labour Prime Minister? He must frown upon painful persuasion?

Well yes, it was the Poms, but not on behalf of those poor wretches in Abu Grahib and Git’mo, or even the right of Saddam to a fair trial and a pulse. No, it was the British complaining about the treatment that might be being meted out to their detained sailors by Iran. Now, Elroy understands that the Iranians were a tad mean to them, but by coalition of the willing standards it was high tea and scones with the vicar. Ron got this one right too! Well done Ron!

GWB and TB claim to be good Christians, but their edition of the good book must be missing a fair few pages, particularly the ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ bit. Just ask that Iranian diplomat how his new suit fits him (no, not the orange one).

6. See above (Ron wins again! – Margaret Beckett on the Navals!) 5-0.

5. Someone said ‘Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is.’ Well, it couldn’t be George – he doesn’t know what one is, let alone explain one, John Kerry sure knows what happens if you don’t have one, Hilary Clinton’s hubby had one made specially and John Howard, well, he’s been around long enough to have said it to Lord Kitchener. Ron, however, has stuck with George, and…it’s true! George actually said ‘Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is’! What a shame George didn’t listen to the answer. 6-0 to Ron

4. ‘There is a road to freedom. Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor, Honesty, Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and love of the Homeland.’

What a quote! But who did it? I wouldn’t be surprised if it were Rummy; they all sound like things not a million miles from the Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, John Ashcroft school of Republican philosophy. Saddam? Most dictators trot out this sort of nonsense, so that accounts for Hitler, Saddam and GSB too.

But the prize goes to Adolph, so the points go to Ron. I’m losing heavily.

3. Ron says that Winston said ‘History teaches that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap’ about the mounting threat of the Third Reich. Hey! It could have been Tim Robbins! I can see it! And Sean Penn! Directed by Michael Moore!
But I’m afraid it was the Gipper discussing the Cold War. George needs to pop down to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Library every now and then. Elroy hits back! 6-1!

2. ‘If we don’t stop extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions, we’re going to have a serious problem coming down the road.’

John Kerry saw first hand how nation building could stretch the troops in SE Asia, and Hilary and Al have been ganging up on George W. for quite a while now. Ron says it was Al. It certainly couldn’t have been GWB; he is the present master of extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions, no-one comes close to extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions no matter how many serious problems there are coming down the road.

What? It WAS George? Talking to Bill? About Bosnia? Gee! He maybe ought to visit the George W. Bush Memorial Library. When it gets built. Wherever it gets built. A phone booth should fit it…6-2!

1. And finally: ‘History is littered with examples of where nation have over-reacted to presumed threats, only to their great long-term disadvantage'

Pretty profound stuff here. Nev may well have said it – Ron says he did – and it does have that ‘Peace in our time’ ring about it, that sort of British reserve that nearly saw Adolph set up a Beirkeller in Buckingham Palace. On the other hand, maybe it was GWB discussing Saddam Hussein – oh, silly me!

Was Kerry worried about the lack of looming threat from Iraq? Yes, he was, but he didn’t say this. What did he say? Probably something like: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, Congressmen, Senators, distinguished guests, it behoves me to relate that the long and difficult history of the modern nation state as we now no it in its current form is comprehensively littered with a perplexing myriad of extant examples of instances where certain nation states, whom I will not name here individually due to certain onerous time restraints that are rigidly upheld, have had a tendency to, in some matters, react in a manner which others may, upon reflection, be construed as somewhat excessive given that thee threat they are said to be facing is not, in any way, a real or concrete manifestation of physical force or the promise thereof but in actual fact is merely a presumed or, indeed assumed, and furthermore such a reaction…’ [Cont. P. 94]

Was it George on Iraq? Ah, wish that it were! Then we might have hoped he would take his own advice. But he may have been talking about Y2K, but then so could have Kerry, or John Howard.

Could John Howard have been commenting on Y2K? Or warning GWB about Iraq? Nah, that would have meant saying ‘No’ to George, and no one says ‘No’ to George, least of all the Governor of the 51st State. Anyway, everyone knows that the US and Australia never ‘over-reacted’ to the ‘presumed threat’ of Iraq; like Y2K, we went in hard and headed any danger off at the pass. That’s leadership! Nev dithered and hey presto! Before he knew it Adolph was asking for instructions on how to work the lawnmower at Number ten!

Not so Johnny! He is a strong leader! A born pre-empter! He’s going to get in for anyone else gets in first! Well, that’s what he’s told us. Often. At great length. So Elroy is sad to relate that it was, indeed, John Howard who said ‘History is littered with examples of where nation have over-reacted to presumed threats, only to their great long-term disadvantage' about global warming, proving that his hypocritectomy has been entirely successful.

So that’s it! Ron wins the special prize…a year’s free subscription to the online edition of Let’s Ask Elroy!™

Thanks for playing Who's Been Paying Attention?® and we’ll see y’all agin soon!